Last week when our daughter was in the hospital recovering from a skull fracture and concussion (please people –wear helmets), I was struck by a most unusual thought. It was early in the morning Tuesday and I was up writing when the nurse came in. She was a sweetheart; they all were.
Anyway, she was checking on our daughter and then took the time to ask me how I was doing. She asked if I had any questions about Ambyr, the care she was receiving, or the plan for later that day. I asked her when the doctor would be making her rounds. My plan was to go to the clinic to work while my husband stayed with our daughter for the day. I was hoping to get an update on discharge before my first meeting.
As we were talking, it occurred to me that I had mild anxiety about leaving Ambyr’s bedside for the day. Not because I don’t trust my husband but because I have a history of mild and not so mild anxiety. It must have shown through in our conversation because the nurse shared her words of wisdom with me.
“That’s great that she’ll have some time with dad. You know, I grew up in a two-parent household and I’ve always been a daddy’s girl. Kids need the balance of both parents.”
Interesting. It got me thinking. It got me thinking that all too often women complain about the lack of involvement from their child’s father. And that’s when it hit me. Men are douche bags.
Not all men, of course, but some. Some men don’t participate in childrearing and their only contribution to a child’s life is the sperm they willingly offered up the night of conception. I started to wonder why. Why are some men douche bags?
And then it hit me. Some men are douche bags because some women train them to be. Don't believe me? Check out Pinterest. On Pinterest when you type “men are” into the search engine, the results are astounding.
Yeah, that was the outcome. Sad isn’t it? And as I explored the various boards it just got worse. Cartoons, pictures, quotes, and other nonsense about how men are douche bags. Type “men are great” into the search box though and you get pictures of clothing, eye glasses, and men without their shirts on. One pin had the quote “Men are f**king wimps”…yeah, that spells out greatness doesn’t it?
I know, you might be wondering why this is the fault of women since some of those pins had pictures of men on them with the quotes about how stupid men are. The reason I think we can blame (some) women for society’s view of men is because they’re constantly spouting it.
Scroll through your Facebook feed and see how many women post pictures and quotes about how men are nothing more than “your biggest and oldest child that requires the most adult supervision.” Or, in memory of Robin Williams, watch the movie Mrs. Doubtfire. That movie was an excellent depiction of how women in all their superiority think that a man who has fun with his kids is too childlike to raise them.
Shame on women for telling men they’re douche bags so often that they start to believe it and live it. Maybe all those Pinterest pins that talk about women being crazy are right.
Last Tuesday, I went to the clinic and worked while my husband spent the day in the hospital with our daughter. Did he do things differently than I would have? Yes. Does that mean he did things wrong? No.
He took care of her, helped her walk to the bathroom, measured her urine, ate lunch with her, watched Shark Week with her, and spent time with Ambyr and her friend when she came to visit. He texted me periodic updates on how she was doing and what the doctor had to say.
Is my husband a douche bag? No. Not even close. He’s amazing. He’s an amazing husband and an amazing father. My life and the lives of our children would be miserable if it wasn’t for this man.
What about the man in your life? Or the man in your child’s life? It doesn’t matter what the relationship status is between you and your baby’s daddy; what matters is the relationship between father and child. Don’t teach your child that her father is a douche bag. And if you’ve been doing that, stop it. Admit you were wrong. Apologize –to your child and her father.
It’s time to man up, women. Don’t be the reason some men are douche bags.