I love to write. Always have. But I don't always feel free to write. Like at my day job. Don't get me wrong, I love my day job. It's just that it requires so much attention from the left side of my brain. Structure. Focus. Details. Scheduling. Protocol. Regulations And don't forget that math that comes with those quarterly reports.
So when it comes to evenings, the early morning hours, and weekends when I have time to write, I have to mentally shift gears and remind the right side of my brain to wake up and write something. Music helps this. Country music usually. I think it's the stories the music tells. Or maybe it's just my mother's country girl genes in me. Whatever it is, it works. Allows me to escape down the rabbit hole where characters and plot lines and creativity come to life.
Traveling also gives me this writer's freedom. Exploring, observing and this knowledge that I can be me. Free from the schedules and demands of my left brained self. Where I become lighter somehow because the only thing I'm carrying (other than a pen and a notebook) are these make believe people who have a story to tell and who have chosen my voice to tell it.
Maybe its the Gemini in me. The whole inner twin thing. One twin logical, helpful, on schedule, following the rules of the third party payors, and the system of mental healthcare. The other balks at schedules, is inquisitive, observant of potential color, ideas, words, characters. Interested only in weaving a story line that just feels right.
They balance each other, I'm sure. But I'd be lying if I said I don't long for the day when the amount of time I get to spend on each is a little more equal. When the freedom to write doesn't show itself only in bits and pieces and snatches of time that is comprised of sacrificed sleep. Until then I'll remain grateful for my work -the people I meet, the things I learn, the opportunities I get there. And maybe just add another vacation to my calendar and allow myself the freedom to write while I travel. It's the best of both worlds really.