“It’s just love now,” Mr. Wolfers said. “We marry to find our soul mate, rather than a good homemaker or a good earner.” The Divorce Surge is Over…
I read this statement and had to say something. In 2000 on a lovely September day I stood at the top of a winding staircase, held the hand of my young son, and walked down each step to stand beside the man I’d found to say ‘I do.’ Did I love him? Yes. Was that the only reason I married him. Absolutely not.
It amuses me when I read people are marrying only for love. If some people are marrying for only that reason, good luck with that. I’m not opposed to love; I just take a more practical approach to it. I’ve been married before on the premise that love was enough when it clearly wasn’t. This
second time around, not only have I learned more about love and marriage, but I think this whole “we marry to find our soul mate” talk is a myth.
Love doesn’t pay the bills. I can love my husband until the cows come home, but if I choose to love someone enough to marry them, I’d like to choose someone who isn’t going to respond with “I’m going to sit home and play video games all day. But don’t worry, our love will pay the bills” when I ask him what time he has to get up for work in the morning.
Love alone doesn’t raise the kids. If that was the case, everyone you see bickering and back stabbing under the guise of “co-parenting” would actually be loving their way through the drop offs and pick-ups of little Jonny and Suzie.
Love doesn’t cook the meals or clean the house. People who divide the workload and take turns and share do. “Just love” implies a feeling casts its spell over people to the point they happily sweep the floor or clean the toilet with no thought behind it.
“Just love” sounds like such a simple thing, doesn’t it? Yet it’s not. Love is an action we must engage in every minute of the day with our partner. It means we compromise and consider the feelings of one another. It means we agree to disagree, sometimes we argue, and sometimes we put our own dreams on hold so the other can pursue theirs.
“Just love” never did anything for anyone. Love in action does it every single day. How do you show your love?