Have you ever watched the TV series, Parenthood? My youngest son and daughter and I watch an episode or two on Vudu every week. Okay, so we binge watch about four episodes every week. It’s a very good show full of family drama, real life issues, and Max. If you haven’t watched this show, you’re missing out on Max’s view of the world and more recently, his understanding of love.
A crush on a girl at his new school has Max asking all kinds of questions. How do I get a girl to like me? How do I ask a girl out on a date? If I like a girl, will she like me back? You know the important, concrete questions of love.
But it’s not that easy, is it? While love can definitely be considered something of a fluid state, we can’t simply rely on a 1-5 scale to determine where we are in a relationship. Instead it takes communication, commitment, and willingness to compromise with the person we choose to love.
Basically, you can’t send a card, some chocolates, and a bouquet of flowers and call it done. Love is a daily conversation between two people. Wait a minute. Is that true? I mean, really true? Is love always between two people? What if I told you it is, but that the two people can be one and the same?
Before you write me off as completely bonkers, get up and go look in a mirror. Go on. I’ll wait for you. Who am I kidding, I won’t wait. I’m too impatient. Take your electronic device on which you’re reading this blog post and head to the nearest mirror (full length if you’ve got it). Now that you’re there, ask yourself this question:
How much do you love you? Yes I’m serious. How much do you love that good looking person staring at your reflection? Can you scale it on a 1-5 with 5 being a lot of love? There are some people who might choose a 1 in the area of loving themselves. Which is a shame, because everyone needs love. Why wouldn’t you love yourself?
Hold on. Before you go answering that with a list of reasons longer than a Wally Lamb novel, let’s get some perspective. Take a look at the three reasons I’ve come up with for why you should show yourself some love this Valentine’s Day.
1. You’ll never be perfect. No one is. Don’t set yourself up for a standard you can’t achieve. Sure, it’s okay to strive for improvement. Eat healthy, go to school, help others, all of those things are great. But it doesn’t mean you have to stop loving yourself because you got a C- or ate a bag of M&Ms for dinner last night.
2. There was only a 15-25% chance of you being here anyway. Whether your parents were rabbits in the baby making department or had to use science to get you into the delivery room, according to WebMD, “the odds that a woman will become pregnant in any particular month are about 15-25%.” That’s not a lot going on in your favor. And you can decrease those numbers if your parents struggled with infertility, were much older when they conceived, or used any kind of substances that reduced the likelihood of your coming into the world in a healthy way. Do you know what that means? It means you’re special. There’s a reason you are here. Love yourself.
3. If you don’t, why will anyone else? Let’s get real about this, shall we? People aren’t as likely to get on board the love wagon if you aren’t on it yourself. And even if they do, it’s going to be exhausting for them to constantly have to tell you why you’re so amazing. I’m not saying you should start up an “I love me” campaign that’s full of self-centeredness. Believe me; no one wants to see that. What I am saying, is loving yourself for who you are may be the best gift you can give yourself this Valentine’s Day.
Don’t know how to love yourself? Start small. Smile in the mirror. List a few things you like about yourself. Buy yourself some chocolates or flowers or both! For now, just stand in front of the mirror for a minute and think about the wonder that is you. Tomorrow I’ll be back with #Top10Tuesday ways to love yourself. <3