The face of independence doesn’t mean you disown everyone who’s ever helped you. Or refusing help when you need it and someone is kind enough to offer. It doesn’t mean you can’t be in a relationship. Nor is it about defying your love for another because being with him or her means you’d be dependent on that person.
Independence is about knowing who you are and what you stand for. It’s about not compromising your belief system. It’s about knowing when to ask for help and when to help others.
Independence is about making plans and being flexible enough to change them when the love of your life makes plans too. It’s about planning together or planning alone; whichever one you do depends only on your relationship status. Not on the stubbornness that you get your own way.
It’s not about putting others down or standing on their necks to get what you want. It’s about lifting others up. Cheering them on even if you didn’t get there first. It’s about accepting that you won’t always be number one or the prettiest or the best or the fastest or the chosen, but loving yourself just the same when you come in dead last. Because sometimes you will…come in dead last.
Independence is about knowing who you are and liking her even when no one else does. Because sometimes that happens too. It’s about standing tall no matter what and laughing even at yourself. It’s making mistakes and learning from them.
It’s about being quirky and unusual because you’re you; not because you’re trying to draw attention to yourself. It’s about digging deep inside to find the manners your mother taught you or the ones you learned along the way when your mother had to give her attention to your siblings, leaving you to say please and thank you and I’m sorry…even when it was hard to say those things.
Independence is being you all the time and leaving room for others to be themselves. Not just tolerating them, but accepting them the way you want to be accepted.
Independence is freedom. From self-doubt, insecurities, and the lies that the mirror and the scale tell you to believe. Independence is about finding yourself on the inside and letting that person shine on the outside. All. The. Time.